I Was Wrong
I had it all wrong. You are not going to see many blog entries with that title!
I have been working on the premise that we need to all agree on what is true, and rational, etc. If people disagree, they are clearly mistaken, and we can work on their information, understanding. We can even work to overcome their built in bias, and error prone thinking.
NOPE - not going to happen. Just let it go. There is a small mountain of research that says normal people go with their instinct most of the time. It's the FAST brain, the gut, the mechanism that evolution gave us to make snap decisions to protect us. It might be possible to train people to work hard with their SLOW brain, spend some time, understand their own bias, etc. But it is uphill, and a lot of work.
The other force at work is CULTURE. Our fast brain goes where our cultural mindset sends it. We are literally not in charge of that If I think I am in charge of my life - that is how things are. If you think that a demon is in charge of yours, or that no one is in charge of your life - that is how things are. It is almost impossible to change that. Our western culture of WEIRD people has us firmly in its grasp. Most of the rest of the world do not share our weird ideas. Trust me on this.
So . . . what you need to do is go with the flow, where we are. Understand it. Adapt to it. And maybe, just maybe, you can nudge it a bit. For a command lesson on this, watch this pair of interviews with Frank Luntz. He is a "communications consultant" with a very insightful view of the American people. It is based on a lot of methodical research, and he is constantly tuning it. Historically, he has represented the GOP, the more conservative portion of our society. Of late, he has moved to a "in defense of truth" position.
There are two interviews that were part of the FrontLine series on our political world, that are particularly telling. They are long - but I will guarantee that you will come out of there a changed person. He changed my mind. And that is quite an accomplishment! Ask anyone.
He understands how people work. He reads people. He interviews them, he runs ideas by them.
This is my shorthand description of what he does:
- Listen to understand fully
- Empathize with the emotion being expressed. You do not need to agree - but express understanding and empathy for the person and what they are sharing.
- Respond to that - not what you think is a good idea, or even what science and facts tell you is the right thing to do. Go with their feelings.
- Words are very important. Research what words resonate with your audience. Use those. Avoid ones that get a negative or critical response. Try to nudge them a bit to a different perspective.
https://youtu.be/BVUs4dS30c0 53 minutes
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